"Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m" ?

I'm writing this article at 2:29. Why ? Because I really want to pour it out this time.

I was a jerk. Well, maybe I still am, but at least I admit it. And what do I feel now ? Heart-broken. Only that ? NO ! I was torn-apart, break-even, drift-away, and all of the sad emotion. They said when you are the one who want to break up with someone, they're true. Most of my friends actually feel that. He broke up with his girlfriend, and then said "hahaha shame on you who cries over me". and not 2 weeks later he said "God, I missed her".
How about me ? Have I not told you the story ? I broke up with my girlfriend-for-2-years. I thought my commitment for her is tight and unbreakable, but things change. And the ironic thing is, I said it's because our religion, our parents, our races, and so much bullshit (but hey, at least I didn't say "I want to focus on my studying" <-- biggest break-up-bullshit ever). And for 2 months you keep giving me the sign that you were still in love with me and want ot get back with me, but I ignored you. Yeah, I know what you guys are thinking about me. Jerk. Asshole. Assface. Pussy. I'd take that blame.
6 months later I started dating with someone new. One college, one dormitory, one organization. Yeah it's that "local-love" like the ones from movies. And after 2 months of joy, she said that her parents didn't agree that she go out with me. So she broke up with me.
The ironic thing right there is, my parent didn;t agree with me going out with my first ex. You know, the one that I broke up with after 2 years of happiness. I saw karma worked on me. I saw it throw a huge pile of lemon to my life and squeezed it right in my face.
And the thing is, I missed my first ex. I don't know, it feels like she's the best part of my life. And probably, I will do everything to stay in touch with her. You know, at least about college and weather, and some kind of daily stuff. It's like, wanting something back a thing that you turned your back into. I know she's hurt, by me. And now, I'm the one who is getting hurt, by the decision I made that day, to let go the love of my life, only to chase other material things.
Sometimes I wish I can travel back in time and undo all of my bad choice. But life goes on, and as we're broken, we're being forged, to be someone better. And in the end, humans must learn from their past. We have to pursue what we have to do, guided by our own experience. In time, we all will be happy. Just like a good friend of mine said: "We are the one who choose and live our happiness"